Sara Hislop - Clintonville's Very Own

Sara Hislop hails from Toledo, Ohio but migrated south to Clintonville, just north of Ohio State's campus, for a little over a year now.  She's a full-time nanny and enjoys writing poetry as a creative outlet.  That's something we can all relate to, right creatives?  Let's give a warm welcome to Sara and her amazing poetry.  

Dear Mama

When I was born, did you caress and hold and cradle me
Did you say my name with proud accomplishment and shake my hand as strangers meet for the first time with such deep connections
Were you able to look into my eyes and see a slight reflection staring back at you
Dear Mama, did you whisper that you loved me and promise to always protect me

When I was born did you know that I would grow up to resent you
That I would grow up to wonder why you didn’t love me or protect me
or need me
When I grew to an age of understanding did you know I could tell the truth from the lies
Dear Mama, did you know I was listening

When I was born did you notice when you talked about your body in a way that would make your mother cry, I listened to all the words that echoed our lonely halls every morning, every night
“Too much fat here, I hate my wrinkly nose, I need more makeup there”
Slowly I learned to suck in my stomach and hate the fact that my nose wrinkled too and began to detest makeup for masking a beauty that you were born with, and that wasn’t created artificially
Did you know when I was born I would grow up to resent myself
Dear Mama, did you know beauty is in the eye of the beholder even though the beholders image was distorted

When I was born did you think that there would be a day when you would tell me to go away because I was interrupting a make believe show
Did you know you would tell me to suck it up or come back in an hour because your book was getting too steamy
Did you know that I would lock myself in my bedroom because I learned how to handle it myself
Dear Mama, did you know that I was real

When I was born, did you know that there would be more times that I would comfort you than you would comfort me
Did you know that by the time I turned 16 I would know that 2 plus 2 was 4, and that love was one hell of an equation
Did you know that I thought terms and conditions was an everyday phrase
Dear Mama, did you know that love could have moved mountains if you’d let it

When I was born, did you know that eventually you would tell me you didn’t care what I did as long as I was home in time to do chores
Did you know that we would never talk, never share, never care
Did you know that I found solace in poetry before I would ever find solace in you
Did you know that I began to forget what your arms felt like and I began to forget what your love sounded like
Dear Mama, did you know I was still your little girl


When I was born, did you think it would come to this
No words, no exchanges
No how are you, no I love you
Not a peep, not a sound
The choices were ours, the choices were made
The choices were taken, the choices we’ve already taken
Dear Mama, I’m doing well, I hope you know

Congratulations, a baby girl!
9 pounds, 8 ounces
Her life is in your hands, 
was in your hands
5 feet, 8 inches
Her life is in her hands

 

Naomi Kennedy